Anywhere Away From Here

My mom called me yesterday to tell me that she found out my aunt, her sister died last week. She lived in Kansas, back in 91 my grandparents took me on an amazing road trip to go visit her and her family. That was probably the most time I spent with her. My mom and her had a falling out over the estate of my grandma, it was then that I decided I didn’t need to spend any time thinking about her and her situation. I hadn’t seen or talked to her since she came up and left with the stuff she wanted and then some while leaving the house a mess.

The problem is I don’t have any feelings or emotions to her passing.

I’m now having a hard time grappling with the idea of not having any emotions or feelings when someone dies, let alone a family member. Is it okay? I just don’t know. I’ve lost so many people in my life, I’m worried if I’ve become numb to death. What can I do about it? Do I do anything about it?

One thought on “Anywhere Away From Here

  1. I think in this instance, not having emotions or a reaction to your aunts passing may have a lot to do with the circumstances surrounding the way she handled your grandmas estate. I could absolutely understand why you would have bitter feelings. I myself have bitter feelings toward my aunt because of the way she has chosen to not lay my grandma to rest. She’s insistent on a having huge memorial when covid is gone. We’re 6mo into Gram’s passing – put her in the damn ocean where she wants to be & let her go! Lol.
    Have you lost many folks to make you think that you’re not reacting “appropriately?” (In quotations bc everyone has their own ideas of what that looks like)
    I hope you’re taking care of yourself my friend ♥️

    Like

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