Today is the day.

I slept surprisingly well last night, must’ve been because I was so tired.

I’m scared.

I keep thinking, “What happens if…” I’m positive that it’s because I’ve never had a surgery before, so to me there’s a lot of unknowns.  I wonder if I did actually ask all the right questions or enough of them.  I’m sure everything is going to go fine, but what if it doesn’t.  What if those risks they told me end up actually happening.  What’s the scar going to look like?  What if I end up losing my voice?  What if something tragic happens?  Should I write up a note with all my usernames, passwords and other important information, just in case?  It certainly makes it easier to know that the surgeon is the best at Virginia Mason in regards to Thyroidectomy’s and air ways.  But, what if?

What am I going to feel like when this is done?  Will I get some energy back?  Will I be able to breathe better?  Will I lose a bunch of weight?  I’ve had this mass for so long, it’s going to be weird having it there one moment and gone the next.

I didn’t get my room finished.  How embarrassing.

I’m having a hard time writing this, I don’t know what I want or need to say.

I want to make it 100% clear how much each of you mean to me and how much everything you’ve done and are doing is appreciated.

I’ll catch you on the flipside.